Changing Diapers can be a Grandma's Best Friend

I remember the "good old days" when there were only cloth diapers.  What a stinky, yucky thing to deal with.  It grosses my children out, when I explain how you took care of poopy diaper by rinsing them in the toilet first!  There was absolutely no fun in that.

However, with my newest grandchild, I have discovered the wonderful opportunity it presents when changing him.  I have never seen a baby who loves having his diaper changed, but this precious little one loves it.  He can be rather upset, and when you lay him down to change him...he's all smiles.

I look forward to diaper changes because it is then that I get to look directly into his face, and interact with him with his undivided attention.  That is why changing diapers can be such a great time for grandma.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could get that same kind of time and attention from your older children, and especially teenagers?  When is the last time you have stared into their face and noticed how special each of them are?  When is the last time they have looked directly into your eyes, and smiled lovingly at you?  If I could change one thing in my life, it would be to have appreciated more, the time I had with my children when they were younger.  Believe it or not, that time rolls by quickly before you notice it.

Don't be in a hurry to make your children grow up.  That is going to happen, and one day you will stop and wonder where the time has gone. So here are my words of wisdom:
1. Make time to look into their eyes, and I mean REALLY LOOK at them.  See the special person   they are changing in to.
2. Let them know that you love them. 
3.Smile at them for no reason at all...it will drive them crazy!
4.Make time to listen.  It's easy to be the one doing all the talking, but what most of us need is a good listener.
5.remind your teenagers that you were once one.  Be willing to share your experience, and help them cope with what they are experiencing.
6.Life is tough. Give your children those hugs and kisses that you poured upon them when they were a baby.  They may act like they hate it...but really they don't!
7.Lastly, give them your undivided attention.  Smile and laugh with them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

And, as for me...I will continue to look forward to diaper changes, because it is then that I get to see a little bit of heaven in the eyes of my grandson.

Did he really say that out loud?

After listening to Pres. Obama's State of the Union; I found myself in a "state" of shock.  Did he really say those things aloud?  Certainly, an American President would never threaten the congress...I must have misunderstood the insertion of the word, myself."  I thought our country was run by an Elected President who follows the Constitution.  His role is to work within the legislative branch, and govern to the best of his abilities, and the items stated in the constitution.

Personally, I thought the president came off as a snotty class room bully.  His comments about having a pen and a phone, and he'll make things happen with or without congress.  Just what is it that his words conveyed?

1. I ,Obama , am the ruler, King, Savior of the world.

2. You'd better follow me or I will cause Kingly punishments to reign upon you.

3. Rich people need to give away everything they can, and try to be poor.  It will make everyone else happy.

4. There is only one way to do things....MY WAY!

5. Now all you poor people; we are going to load up your food stamp cards, get you a better phone,
and help you learn to be rich without any education or work. (This sounds perfect doesn't it!)

6. If you are here illegall...no worries... "Celebrate Good Times, Come ON!"

7.If you are not black you can never understand our color issues.  Thereby, we will be putting all white folks into human baking ovens called, Tanning Salons.  When you finally get out, you should look like a Michelle Obama.

8.Did you know that we are not all "folks?"  I was heart broken to learn that folks doesn't include most of us.It must be special to be a folk!

9. I hope all you young, healthy folks in your twenties sign up for the new Obama Health Care Plan. It's only fair that the young and healthy pay enormously for the old, the fat, and shall we say "Seasoned" folks around you.

10.Success is measured in how many people like you (that wouldn't be a long list sir... It's also determined by the months you have managed to stay unemployed and receive benefits by sitting on your butt at home and watching your oversized TVS.

11. There will be provided ways to take care of illegal imigrants.  Sign them up for free registration for a driver's license, a new cell phone, and all the groceries you can get. Furthermore, YOU and YOUR CHILDREN will be personally brought to the King, oh I mean Obama, sorry for that.  Upon arrival you will be put on the Obama's list of Black Americans who attend his parties.  You can "get down" dancing with Michelle, and rub shoulders with all the other poor people who are there pretending to be rich.  If you are really lucky, the President (the My Highness), may sing a song to you.  He knows about EVERYTHING.  I'm surprised that small head can contain so much.

12. Be prepared to give up more freedoms, and remember that the Emperor has stated his rules, and who are we to question the all knowing, and ruling President Barrock Obama.

I hope my writing has helped you to understand the meanings of many Obama statements.  It sure has been fun to make fun of them!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LIFE WELL LIVED

IN THE BEGINNING~

It has taken me almost a month, to write about the passing of my mother.  Although we knew that her dying was a distinct possibility, we secretly  hoped for a miraculous recovery, or at the least...the ability to stand.

For the last 3 years, my mother has been wheel-chair bound.  She has only had the ability to feed herself.  I've watched my father check her sugar level, administer shots, give her showers, and clean her up in ways we never thought we'd have to do. I have teased my Dad
that he should have earned his CNA by now.

Poor mom has had a catheter in place for years.  This has led to many infections.  Her sugar has remained out of control, and she had heart disease and chronic leukemia.  Ultimately, it was her diabetes that took her.

At the time you are watching someone age, and deteriorate before your eyes; it's difficult to remember that person in better days.  My mother was a survivor, a wife, mother, grandma, and great-grandmother. She was a sister, Aunt, and great friend.  Mom was never one to shy away from hard work, or difficult things.

Her will to live, propelled her through many difficult health problems.  Many times we were sure that she would not survive, but she would rally and live on.  That is why it was extrememly  difficult to accept that she had left us on May 21, 2013.  For my posterity, and my own need to process; I want to describe the last few days of her life, and the aftermath.

First of all, Mom had gotten to the point where Dad and I could not care for mom any longer at home.  She could not assist us in getting her up.  This was a heart-wrenching conclusion for my father to come to.  He so wanted her to be with him at home, and he had given his entire life up to take care of mom.  So when we finally took her to the hospital; it was very difficult because we knew that from there, she would have to go into a care center ( that name is an oxymoron if ever there was one.)  

Mom was put into a local care center.  We picked the one in the area that was rated the best.
Dad would come and stay with her every morning until noon or after; then I would come at 5:00 and stay until she went to bed. It wasn't home, but we felt she was safe there, and hoped...well cared for.  There comes that word "care" again.  I will discuss that later in this piece.

On Friday, May 17, 2013 we met with the director of nursing, the Social Worker, my husband, my father, and myself.  At that time we all signed off on the plan for mom...which instructed the care center to provide only comfort care.  She had a DNR on her, there was no chance for improvement, and there was not anything that could humanly be done to help her get better.  We directed them, that there was to be no life saving attempts made on her.
She was not to be transported from the facility.

Over that weekend, Mom became weaker and was completely unable to feed herself.  She didn't want to eat, her sugar was very high, and her blood pressure was equally high.  However, she was responsive and talked to all of us.  Monday morning, May 20th, Kiley and I went to see mom.  My sweet little grand-daughter was the last great grandchild to see grandma.  When we left Kiley gave her a big hug and kiss, and I told mom I loved her and would see her that evening.

Herein begins the beginning of the end.  When I came in around 5:00 PM Monday evening.  Mom was not in her room.  She was never out of her room.  I went from wing to wing of the hospital, and couldn't find her. Eventually, someone at the desk told me she was out in the ambulance that I had walked by coming in.  I ran out to the ambulance, looked in the back of the ambulance, and saw mom's face.  She looked so afraid and confused.  I told her everything would be ok, and I ran around to the side of the ambulance to talk to the EMTS.

They said they had been called because her blood pressure and sugar were high!   They had been high, and some little twit didn't read her chart and called the ambulance.  Once she was in there, they were obligated to take her to the hospital.  I was beside myself.  Neither my father, or myself had been called.  They knew she was not to be moved. I will be forever haunted by my mother's face and eyes looking at me.

Dad and I rushed to the hospital and awaited mom.  After waiting well over an hour, I asked for the fourth time if we could go back.  We were taken back only to find they were getting ready to do all kinds of x-rays etc on her.  Dad told them no, and I went and talked to the ER doctor, who was pretty good about the whole thing.

I can't even begin to recount the numerous mishaps, and miscommunication that happened in the ER over the last three hours mom was there.  It was one thing after another.  Finally, they called Red Cliffs (care center) to come pick her up.  A CNA arrives in a van with no wheelchair, gurney, or anything.  Mom was completely despondent after this. She never spoke a word while she was there, and we never heard another word from her.  That breaks my heart.

The actions in the ER certainly hastened her demise.  They flushed her catheters until blood was draining like a hose through it.  The doctor said she was not going to live much longer. By the time we got Mom back to the care center, I really felt like I was going to combust at any moment.  I was furious at what they had put my Mother through.

Tuesday morning arrived, and I received a call from the care center that they couldn't find a pulse on Mom.  I rushed over, and there was dad.  He looked 20 years older at the moment, and had obviously been crying.  My kids all came over and told her good-bye, and dad and I stayed with her until she left this life.

All day we watched the blanket go up and down as she fought to breathe.  She was laboring so hard to stay here.  Finally, Jonathan asked the nurse if they could give her something to help her breathe easier and relax.  Eventually, as approved by the doctor, they gave her some morphine and adavan under her bottom lip.  They couldn't get it in her because her teeth were clenched.  But the drugs helped, and we watched as the blanket rose slower and slower.

Dad and I had talked to her all day, held her hands, and loved on her.  Just before 3:45 PM, I told dad that I didn't think the blanket was rising anymore.  We heard the death gurgle, and felt the life come right out of her mouth.  Her eyes were opened, and looking upward as if someone was there for her.  We called a nurse to listen for the heartbeat, but she was gone.
I threw myself over my mom and cried like a little child. My mom was gone.  Dad was so chocked with emotion, that I just wanted to make everything better for him.

It was not a Hollywood death.  It was a wrenching, painful thing to watch.  But I am so grateful that Dad and I were there with her.  She wasn't alone, and Dad wouldn't leave her until the mortuary had arrived, and assured him that he would take good care of her.
How grateful I am for the Plan of Salvation, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  I know I will see my mom again, but I miss her so much.

Now, I mentioned the care center.  It was anything but caring.  No one cared when she died, and she was just another patient to them...but she was special to us.  We never heard one word from them after she died.  Not a phone call, a card, nothing.  Let me list the things I saw while I was there.

1. Someone took my mother's soiled sweat pants, rinsed them out, and hid them in an empty closet.  I would never have found them except for the fact I was looking for her lost slipper.

2. One day I went in, and there were ants everywhere.  Their custodian came in and sprayed something that was so strong, we had to change rooms.

3. Many of the employees there, do not know what they are doing.  They were rough when changing her, and moving her about.  Heaven only knows what she went through when we weren't there.

4. As mom was dying, her bowels let loose.  The smell was awful.  I asked a male CNA in the hall if they could come change her.  He questioned why, if she were dying.  There was no thought of human dignity in her last moments.  When he did change her, he flopped her around like a bag of potatoes.  If I hadn't been standing there, my Mom's face would have hit the side bar several times. But I put my hand between mom's face and the bars.  Her arms and legs were just like a rag doll.  It was frightening to watch.

5. People who worked there, did not communicate with one another. People were coming in with her lunch, to check her blood, etc.  We had to tell them she was dying.

A care center is nothing but a place to house the elderly, and those who can't help themselves. It is not a caring environment, but rather one of forced duty, and "poor me" attitudes.

Christmas Spirit... FASCINATING!

It has been awhile since I have faced the blank screen of my blog. It hasn't been for a lack of things to write about. Afterall, I live such an exciting, fascinating life. Today on the Katie Show, I heard the guest say she had to decide between being fascinating, or being all about getting the job done. This caused me to ponder my life, as well as the holiday season. Sadly, I've had to admit that I am more about getting the job done....but I would LOVE to be FASCINATING! Just think of how much that would change my life. For instance, when I go walking and pass runners and bikers, who look at me like I'm a turtle in motion; instead of the cold blank stares, they would say something like, "Hi" to me (because they could see just how fascinating I was.)FASCINATING! My family would no longer ask, "What's for dinner?" Because they would alreadsy know that whatever I fixed would be totally yummy, and FASCINATING! No more sighs, or sneers...they would just love the food. Being FASCINATING would also help me when shopping. No longer would I be glared at in the parking lot, shoved in the aisles of the grocery store, and no longer would someone let their flipping cart hit into my car. All because I was FASCINATING! Perhaps, being fascinating might be too much work for someone like myself. I don't mind the snotty people on the trail; I enjoy being out in nature. The people in the stores just make me want to get out of there quicker...which saves me money. So thank you to all of the less than nice people at Wal-mart. I appreciate you contributing to my savings account. Now, where I have to draw the line is with the shopping carts. Fascinating or not...can't people walk a few extra steps and put their cart away? Consider it a service project. It really helps out all those young men, who have to run around the parking lot, herding carts in from all over the surrounding businesses. Really, fascinating is what the entire Christmas Spirit is about. Consider the birth of Jesus, and all who traveled to witness him. Think of the countless acts of service given by people all over the world. Consider the people who volunteer at the homeless shelter, feed the hungry, console the broken hearted, and share the good news of the gospel. These things are not only fascinating....but wonderful. Reflect upon the many soldiers who won't be home for another Christmas. Consider the sacrifice of the soldier's family. I for one, am happy to be about getting the job done, and I appreciate all those who "get it done" for me and my family. Thank you to the person who delivers the mail, the newspaper man or woman who gets up at 4:00 AM to deliver my paper. Thank you to the outstanding doctors who have taken care of me, and kept me on this earth. Thank you to my friends and family who love me for being me...a less thasn fascinating person:) I guess when you stop to really contemplate your life; you soon realize how utterly fascinating your life really is. Each time I kiss or squeeze one of my grandchildren I know how much my life has been blessed. They are the light of my life. I live for every moment I can share with them. They are truly fascinating, smart, beautiful, and awesome people. One day I'll write a book called, "Everything I learned from my Grandchildren and Children." It would be a best seller:) Thank you to Rachel for teaching me how to love. She was the perfect first child. Thank you to Dave for teaching me how to be a doctor. He provided lots of opportunities for me during his early years. Thank you to Mark for teaching me first aid, and how to recognize a battery from a cyclinder. He also has taught me the value of a daily phone call to people we love. Thank you to Jon for saving my life, and being my buddy. Soon I will have to let him be someone else's best buddy...but that's all good. Thank you to Justin, Tab, and Pam for choosing to come into our family. We love all of you too. Fascinating is just a word. But, nevertheless, fascinating in, and of itself. I guess it's all about how you choose to view your life, and everything around you. You know, life is fascinating, and it's all about being present for the ones you love. Happy Holidays to all of my fascinating family and friends.

Where does the fat go?

Every morning I subject myself to a terrifying experience....I weigh myself. This can either start my day out well, or crappy depending on what the number reveals. Every day it's down a pound and up two; down three and up one. Where does the fat go? It's not like I can rip off a pound or two before bedtime each night. And it's not like a stay up late and eat myself into oblivian! My stomach is flat, my clothes fit...but that darn fat comes and goes like a thief in the night.

Maybe fat is a state of mind? When I read the Special K box of cracker chips, and see that 36 chips equals 110 calories...I don't assume that equates to three pounds of fat...but it seems to. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't read any words or labels that say FAT, but when I look at skinny women I think to myself, "Charlotte, you are fat." Why can't we look at one another without labels, without comparisons, without judgement?

Imagine what the world would be if everyone accepted each other for who they are. Why should I feel guilty when I eat 37 chips instead of 36...and why the heck am I having to count the chips anyway?

I know wonderful women who are not model thin, but they are model people. I hope they realize how much I love and admire them for who they are. Of course, we'd all like to be thinner, cuter, craftier...but we seldom stop to realize what we have been blessed with. The ability to laugh at ourselves, our committment to a power and religion greater than ourselves, being a mother and being an involved mother. Fat people...let's unite. Let's celebrate our uniqueness. Cut yourself a break and realize that pounds don't define us. If they do...YOUR CRAZY! Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Don't worry about where the fat goes at night. Rejoice that you are here on the earth at this time, and this dispensation of the fullness of time. You and I matter...fat or not!

Thankful To Be Thankful

Well, it's almost Thanksgiving. For the last week I have contemplated everything I am thankful for. It all boils down to.... I am thankful to be thankful. There have been many times in my life, where I could have left this earth. Thankfully, Heavenly Father has allowed me to remain here on the earth, where it is such a blessing to live.

I think about each of my eight living grandchildren, and little Tanner that is laid to rest at the Washington City Cememtery. Those grandchildren mean everything to me. Each of them bring so much to my life.

Matt is my first grandchild. We have watched him grow into a smart, and loving 11 year old boy. Matt always has a smile for me, as well as a loving hug.Matt is so smart.

Talia is our first redhead. She is beautiful and loves science. She wants to be a doctor. I hope she will pursue that dream. Talia can always make me laugh.

Emily is our oldest dancer. She has been dancing since she was 4 years old. It has been beautiful to watch her mature, and come out of her shell.Emily is smart and cute all in one.

Cicily is our drama queen. She could be on Broadway. She loves to act, sing, and dance. Cicily is always kind to all the younger kids. She is beautiful and a great helper.

Nate the great is our second redhead. He is a hoot. If there is dirt, you'll find Nate. He can dig a hole as big as himself in no time! Nate is a cute boy, and likes being in Kindergarten.

Shelby is a beautiful 4 year old, and grandma's girl. We love each other very much. Shelby loves to laugh, dance, smile, and play. There is never enough play time for Shelbs. She is beautiful.

Xander is our special little angel. He has a form of autism, but is making great headway at his pre-school. He has such a sweet personality, and is very loving. He looks like his dad, and always has a hug and kiss for me.

Kiley is my baby. She is the kindest, sweetest little child. She gives more hugs and kisses than anyone. I love to listen to Kiley talk. And seeing her dance is pure joy. She has the most beautiful blue eyes.

Tanner is gone from us. But I had the sacred priviledge of holding him for a few minutes. I look forward to meeting and holding him one day. I know he is an angel.

I love my children. Each of them is different. There are times that they push my buttons, but I wouldn't trade any of them....challenges and all.

I'm thankful for Larry. He drives me nuts sometimes, but he is a good man, and tries very hard to keep me happy. That's a full time job:)

So, at this Thanksgiving, I am thankful to be here "on the right side of the dirt. I've been lost, I've been lonely, I've been hurt." But through it all, I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, and knows of my hallenges. Thank you Heavenly Father for loving me.

Being Up Close and Personal with a Rock!

I know my title sounds strange, but so was my experience with "the rock!"
It was Thursday evening, and I was hurrying to Horizon Elementary to watch Katie's dance group. When I arrived, there was absolutely no parking. It was crazy! If I owned an open lot over there, I would have opened it up for parking. I'm sure there were plenty of us that would have paid $5.00 to park somewhere near the school.

However, after trying every parking trick I knew, I ended up parking at the bottom of a hill. The hill itself was no problem, but time was. It was 6:10PM and I knew she was performing at 6:20PM, so I walked as fast as my knee hardware could. I reached the edge of the school property, and decided to cut across on the dirt, instead of following the sidewalk. (I should have listened to the words of my dad and my husband...stay on the path!) But, no, I knew I could make it in time if I shaved a couple of minutes off...so camera and purse in hand I took off across the dirt.

That's when I had my encounter of the most "embarrassing" kind. To this day, I am not quite sure what happened, but I do remember my body sailing through the air in slow motion. Remember that science law that says, "A body in motion tends to stay in motion?" Well, THEY WERE STINKING RIGHT!
I had so much momentum going, that I couldn't even begin to stop myself. The next thing I knew, I felt my head hit a rock the size of China, (ok...it was the size of a plate), nevertheless, my head and neck bounced off that thing like a trampoline. Then...nothing.

The next thing I knew, I had this sweet young couple standing over me and asking if I was ok. I was covered with dirt, had smashed my sunglasses, and was throbbing in pain and dizzy...but other than that...I was great! I tried to stand up, which was not a good plan. I now understand how a drunk person feels. I could not stand up straight, or keep my legs from buckling. The kind young man took hold of me, pulled my 600 pounds of flesh off the ground, and sat me on the curb.

Tears, along with my mascara and dirt were falling off my face. Who needs a Halloween costume! The tears were as much from embaraasment, as injury. Several people from the ward walked by, and asked if I wanted a ride home...but I assurred everyone I could drive myself home. This sweet woman and her husband then proceeded to wipe my arms and face off with their baby wipes. That act of kindness, made me cry all the more. I suppose that is why they used "baby" wipes:)

After several minutes of humiliation, I convinced my good samaritans that I was ok. But the husband insisted on holding my hand and helping me down to my car. They made me turn on the air, and take some water to drink. Then, bless their hearts, they followed me home.

Now I suppose there should be a moral to this story, so here it is. Stay on the path! When we venture off the safety of the path, we are in danger of getting lost, or getting hurt. I couldn't help but think of the conference talk I am giving in Relief Society tomorrow. The lesson is on Elder Russell M. Nelson's talk, "Covenants." If we stay on the path ( the Lord's path), we have been promised great blessings. If we stray off the path, or to the edge of the path, we allow Satan to try and tempt us.

I'm not blamming anyone but myself, and my shoes for my fall; but I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't have fallen if I had stayed on the sidewalk. Fortuneately, I was not seriously hurt. I have a knot on the head, 2 terribly bruised knees, a sprain left hand,an appreciation for the kindness of strangers, and a stomped on ego! Maybe I'll go back to the scene of the crime, and bring that rock home to remind me to stay on the path. I hope all of you are on it with me:)

Don'r Mess With My Stuff!

When I came down the stairs this morning, and turned the corner to the kitchen; I could immediately see something had changed. Someone, who will remain nameless (ok, it was Larry), decided to rearrange things in my computer/solarium/tutoring/scrapbooking room. I WAS TICKED! Not just a little mad, but ready to tear someone's (Larry's) head off. How dare he mess with my stuff!

Would I ever go down to his Barn and rearrange things? No...because I would throw most of it away. Do I rearrange his pigeon lofts, messy office, or heaven forbid... tackle the stack around his chair? The answer is a big fat NO! So is it too much to ask for him to not mess with my stuff?

Ok, I'm going to answer my own questions because I know I'll get the right answers:) First of all, let's take a step or two back in time to Saturday.
For months I have endured his marathon training. I have listened to his glory stories, attended his races, put up signs on Friday, and stood for over 4 hours waiting for him to trot by. And what did he do when he saw me...nothing! No kiss, no hug, no thank you dear for being such a wonderful wife! Oh no, he just jogged on by and waved like he was at a picnic. I wanted to run out, grab his shorts, and pull them over his head.

Then, I go out Monday and buy a frame for him to frame his marthon poster, and hang in his office. Which, by the way, has only a tool belt girl hanging in there.I specifically said, "This is to hang in your office." I get up the next morning, and he has hung it up above the sewing machine! Is this so I can be reminded of it more often?

So, when I discovered his decorating this morning, I could have screamed. I would have kicked something, but I know I would have injured myself for nothing. So back to my questions and answers. I would never rearrange his places, although I am now tempted beyond belief. What would he do if I rearranged his spaces? Probably nothing. He wouldn't notice. But I noticed his little Oprah project, and I am not a happy person.

Long ago, 35 years ago, he should have started to realize a thing about me which is..."DON'T MESS WITH MY STUFF!" Both he, and my boys have had trouble remembering this.

One day, about 15 years ago, I came home and found two of my boys playing with and wearing my sexy linguire. I can't spell it, but you know what I mean. I was so mad at them. Not so much because they were having a great time with it, but because they snooped and got it out of the top of my closet! I decided then and there , that mother's have no privacy. I took all my sexy stuff and threw it all in the garbage can. I'm sure the garbage men had a hayday if they looked in the can. I never again have bought anything even remotely sexy. The thing that was so irritating, is that I had put that stuff in old shoe boxes labeled ,"Old temple clothes." But did that stop them from looking...oh no!

I have hid chocolate, money, books, Christmas, and a variety of other things...and they always find it. Larry knows better than to toss anything of mine, but apparently that message has not worked its way to his frontal lobe yet.

I do not want anyone rearranging my home. It is my castle. I do all the work and upkeep in here. Things are where they are for a reason. Now I cannot get to my scrapbooking stuff, it looks ugly from the living room, and there is a big space with nothing to do with it.

I was hoping blogging would get this out of my system, but it hasn't worked. Maybe I'll go down and rearrange a few tools, benches, or junk in his domain! (Really, I won't because it would be too much work!) So if you see me hanging out my windows, shouting at the sky, you'll know that things have not gotten back to normal around here!

Guilty Pleasures

Yes, you read the title correctly...guilty pleasures.  Can you imagine me confessing to such things?  Well, here goes.  My David Letterman list of things I normally wouldn't own up to, but enjoy doing. 

1. Licking the icing out of the icing container
2. Watching your favorite TV show while devouring a box of cereal ( the one everyone else loves!)
3. Retail therapy anytime:)
4. Sneaking your husband's change into your piggy bank ( he never notices)
5. Ordering yourself a Big Mac(calories and all)
6. Dancing around the house when no one is looking ( thank goodness)
7. Having an easy day around the house, then calling your husband and telling him to bring dinner
8. Buying and eating a candy bar, or having a secret stash that no one knows about...HA HA!
9. Making brownies for yourself and eating half of it
10. Sunday sickness ( you all know what this is...those moments when you feel fine until just before church when you are suddenly attacked with a terrible headache etc.)  That is not why I missed this last week.  I really was sick!

Of course, I could list other things that I consider guilty pleasures, but I don't want to bore you any longer.  However, I might say that everyone needs a guilty pleasure once in awhile.  It's healthy to reward yourself ...YOU DESERVE IT!  Sometimes I think we are too afraid of being human.  It's ok to say that you feel like crap, or your sick of the dishes.  It's normal to feel a little rebellious at times.  I call this safe rebellion, like wearing something weird, dying your hair a strange color, seeing a naughty movie:)...only pg-13 of course. (I'm not THAT naughty.)

Own up to being sick of watching Dora for the tenth time in a row.  Admit to hating the smell of another batch of chicken nuggets.  Express your desire for a lunch that doesn't include hot dogs and macaroni and cheese!

Search for a quiet place, even if that means the bathroom.  Take a book with you, sit on the pot, and enjoy the luxury of not doing anything for a moment.  Of course, if your like me, my kids would always stand outside the bathroom door and listen.  What did they expect to hear?  Did they think I might be sucked down the toilet?  I think our kids thought that I would somehow vanish if I were in there alone.

Actually, to sum up this entry I just want to encourage all my friends to catch a break now and then; and don't feel guilty about it.  Life is a pleasure, and I'm grateful to be here with all of you, and those I love so dear. Find a quiet place, and eat a plate of brownies on me!

Dust Dust Go Away...Don't Come Back Another Day!

Ok, let me start by giving you a few clues to see if you know who or what I am referring to.  This thing is everywhere, it can be found inside and outside, and it is irritating.  No, it is not your neighbor!  I'm referring to DUST.  It is everywhere.  I swear, I just dust a table, turn around, and by the time I look back the dust has already resettled on the table.

In my younger years, I prided myself on being the dust master.  I wouldn't allow dust to live at my house.  But with the wisdom of age, I too have discovered what many of you already know...it is hopeless!  Dust the dresser, and the dust moves to the nightstand.  Dust the nightstand and it moves to the bookshelf.  If you look closely you can see the dust laughing at your futile attempts to permanently dispose of it.

Dust reminds me of the ants we have in Southern Utah.  You can poison those suckers with an entire bag of ant kill, and they just move and pop up somewhere else.  I've tried poisoning them, drowning them, even burning the hole.  Let me tell you, that doesn't work.  Neither does burning half your property down, but that's Larry story!  Sorry, I just can't let him forget it too soon.

Anyway, back to ants and dust.You can also add 109 degree weather to the list of irritating things.  The heat transforms people into living and breathing fighting machines.  They'll fight for the closest parking stall, leave their cars running with kids and animals inside, while they dash into the minute market.  Normally nice people suddenly start chewing their arm, and yours off about everything. When it's this hot you'd better be careful about approaching people, and make sure your children don't blurt out something about the stinky, sweating guy in line ahead of you.  This does not make friends and influence people.

After deep thought, which totally drains me, I have decided that the heat, ants, and dust are welcome to each other.  For all I care the heat can burn up the ants, and move the dust from room to room.  I personally am going to boycott dusting.  What's the most that can happen?  A dust monster might get me?   Tremendous guilt might overwhelm me?  I might have nightmares about ants and dust?  Nah!  Not going to happen.

So friends unite.  Put the dust buster down.  Put the ant poison away.  Some say everything is going to hell in a hand basket anyway; so sit back in your dust and enjoy the entertainment:)

It's the Little Things that Matter

I've been waiting for inspiration about something to write about, when it dawned on me that I should write about the little things that matter .

First off, I appreciate a polite person on the phone.  I've also discovered the secret to speaking with insurance people that just makes them melt in your hand like butter.  Here's the secret.  When they answer your call and state their name, write it down.  Then call them by name through-out your conversation, and especially as you are ending the call.  People love that.  Give it a try.

My next little piece of advice is to smile at people when they flip you off while driving.  It drives them nuts.  Once I rolled down my window and yelled, "Have a great day."  It really made Mr. Crazy Driver irritated.  I loved it.

When checking out at Wal-mart or wherever, help your checker out.  I open the bags as the checker spins the bag thing around.  They really appreciate it, and it makes you feel good inside.  If your lucky, the checker may smile at you as a bonus:)

Don't feel guilty about taking a short nap once in awhile.  It's taken me years to figure this out.  But moms, you deserve a break.  So what if the dishes aren't done, or the laundry isn't folded.  It will be there 15 minutes later, and you will feel refreshed and ready to go.

Just recently, I have discovered this little matter.  Don't talk to your husband when he is in his recliner.  Chances are he is in the zone, or sound asleep and won't hear a word you say.  I had an entire conversation with Larry today, and after talking for 10 minutes discovered he was asleep under those glasses of his.  I knew this when I threw in the statement, "and the pink elephants threw up."  He didn't even blink!  No more one way conversations. He is going to have to be standing up on two feet, with his eyes fully open.

Size does matter!  Wouldn't you rather have a large drink than a small one?  Or a super ice cream cone, instead of the kid's cone in a cup?  Well, I would rather have a little meat on my man than no meat at all.  Larry has decided to become a marathon runner.  That's great, but he has now shrunk to the size of a gremlin, and I feel like his mother next to him!  I never realized how much I loved those love handles!  I don't know what to do about this matter.  I can't run because of my knees, but I am going to have to do something in order to be with the incredible shrinking man.  Don't you just hate it when someone gets all healthy on you?

Always put fun and family first.  I wish I had taken more time to enjoy my kids when they were little.  Now I get to enjoy my grandchildren, and it is the absolute best thing in the world.  So you young moms....enjoy the moments.  They grow up and leave before you know it. Although, we have one that kind of left, and has came back!  Lots more memories to make with him:)  Speaking of which, one of the funnest things Jon and I do, when we are alone and bored is to put on Phantom of the Opera and sing and act out the play!  It's hysterical to see my 6'7" son, standing on the stair way singing the Phantom's songs to me.  Awesome!  I know, you all think that is weird...but try it.  It's fun.  As a little girl I would stand on the footstool and sing along with my parents country records.  In fact, my sisters fought with me about whose turn it was to be on the footstool.

Lastly, what ever happened to getting those big catalogs in the mail from Penney's and Montgomery Wards?  We would sit for hours and cut things out of the catalogs.  Then we used them as paper dolls.  Well, I am way off message now.  I think I've taken a tour down memory lane.  But my point today is that little things matter.  It can be a smile, a wave, a kind deed, or silliness.  But it all matters.

Computer Geeks...Who Needs Them!

It all began a week ago, when I decided that our desktop computer needed to go to a computer hospital for a little tune up.  How was I to know that was the beginning of a week from he__ __!  The wonderful computer geeks at our local Staples, completely and utterly destroyed my computer.  When I got it back all my photos, documents, programs, everything was gone!!!!!

Have you seen a grown woman sob over a computer monitor?  It isn't pretty! It was worse than Oprah's "ugly crying."  My mascara melted to my armpits, my face was white as a pair of brand new whitey tighties!  Each of my kids called and tried to console me, but the devastation of it all was too much.  Every grandchild picture was gone, and some computer geek had my blood on his hands!!!!!

After the initial crying period (that went on way too long) , my survival instincts kicked in.  I realized, "Oh, I have Carbonite...everything will be fine, everything will be backed up."  I went to bed Tuesday night believing that I could get my stuff restored.  I  spent a sleepness night tossing and turning and worrying about my photos.  How could I have intrusted a computer nerd at Staples with the most important stuff in my life?  I'll tell you how it happened.  I could not understand a word out of the techs mouth!  He had an accent, and when he started flapping his lips with tech talk, I believed he knew what he was doing.  I agreed to have them do whatever, but I did remind them that I did not, under any circumstances, want to loose my pictures.  Obviously, he didn't understand a word out of my mouth either.

So back to Carbonite.  My first call to them was answered by some guy sitting at a computer in India.  I spent two hours having him direct me around my computer.  Finally we started restore, and I thought I was done.  Silly, silly, me!  Six restores later, 3 online people, 2 more phone people, and hours upon hours of staring at the computer...and finally some success!  The only people who really helped me were two online people with the names of Sonja and Jake.  The last guy, Carlos, wanted me to take apart my computer and change a wireless connection to wired.  I decided he was NUTS, and got off line with him quickly.

Do you see why I have become a basket case!  Every time the computer would start restoring, the computer would loose power or something, and it would shut down.  I got up at 1:30 AM, 4:30 AM, and 6:30 AM just to wiggle the mouse and make sure the computer didn't go to sleep ( even though it was set to never go to sleep.)  Someone must have forgot to tell my computer this because it still wants to nap all the time.

When I finally got most of my pictures back, I decided to copy them onto a memory stick.  This too I thought would be quick and easy.  Well, four memory sticks and cards later...I still did not have my 1000 pictures back.  So yesterday I went and put an 8 MG memory stick.  I was praying that it would work, and it did...kind of.

Thanks to my daughter, who isn't afraid to click in and out of things, we finally got everything copied onto my memory stick, and to my laptop.  But, I'm still not done.  We are still missing programs.  When Larry went to pick up the computer, the tech said he had gotten rid of programs he didn't think we would need.  Are you kidding me?  How can a computer geek know what programs I don't need?  I don't even know what I don't need!

As of tonight, I think I have everything working but two deleted programs.  I have managed to get a lot of things working myself.  So why did I need a computer geek?  I guess to teach me some valuable lessons.
1. Only talk to people who speak English when it comes to computer repairs
2. Don't go to Staples
3. Don't trust Carbonite completely
4. Backup everything somewhere else
5. Put everything in writing so they don't have a memory fade
6. Practice praying...you will need it

Lastly, I do not think I want another computer tech near my machine.  With this kind of help...who needs them.  I can have a nervous breakdown without them...thank you very much:)

Passwords areJust Plain Annoying!

Somehow I need to come up with a better system of keeping my passwords.  Up until recently I have used basically two passwords for everything.  Then I got SCAMMED!  I had to reset passwords, and now I did such a good job...I can' remember half of them!

This memory problem can be attributed to three things: age, age, and more age!  Honestly, I started by listing passwords in my planner.  But I don't always want to get up and look for my planner.  And usually when I do get it...it doesn't have the passwords I needed.

Next plan was to use post it notes.  I love those things.  I consider myself Queen of post it use.  They were my life blood when I taught school.  I have continued to be a fan of anything associated with post it notes.  The trouble with these, is that I get so many on my bulletin board, that they eventually fall off, I see a piece of paper on the floor, and I throw it away.  Then some time later, I realize what I have so carefully disposed of.
Also, the heat in my "office" wears the stickiness right off those notes.

So, I began putting the post it notes up with bulletin board pins.  But honestly, I have run out of space.  They are layered on my bulletin board, where many have remained hidden for some time.  So...what to do?

I thought of making a list and posting on my bulletin board; but then Larry and Jon would have access to all of my passwords also.  I have nothing to hide, and I trust them...but sharing passwords is like sharing underwear...NOT COOL!

After much thought and deliberation, I believe I am going to go with the list idea, and hide the list somewhere where I can easily access it.  But even as I write this, I know what will happen.  I will hide the list so well...I'll never be able to find it again.  So, back to the thinking board.  Passwords are just annoying!

Crazy!

Have you ever had occasion to consider the things that drive you absolutely nuts?  Well, i obviously have too much time on my hands, or I'm bored stiff...but I just have to let it all out tonight.  Of course, there are things that I have no control over, like old people driving huge RVs that can't even see over the dashboard.  Then they decide to change lanes...WATCH OUT!  They can move from the far right, to the turning lane on the far left, and not even use a turning signal.  LOVE IT!

Or how about Wal-mart "greeters" that stare at you like you are a shop lifters going in to the store.  I thought they were suppose to greet you, and make you feel welcome in the store.  Oh, no, no, no.  They glare at you. It's especially bad when you have a sweet darling child with you.  Oh the nerve, to bring kids shopping!  Can you imagine (Right!)

Lots of service industry people could take a course on customer service which includes a whole chapter on how to smile at the customer. (No offense Pam.  You are perfect:)  But all the others, except Pam, need help.  Sometimes it's like checking out with a Zombie.  There is a particular girl at Wal-mart that I swear died back in October, and is still standing at the same register just moving things back and forth.  No emotion, conversation, acknowledgement, or even a cough.  Look for her.  She is easy to spot.  She never moves, and her eyes are glazed over...poor thing.

I guess the things that are the most upsetting to me are personal things: like being stood up to get the grandchildren. I waited all day to pick up two of my grandchildren to take them on a hike.  Jon and I were all pumped up about it.  I watched the clock until it was ten minutes to three, and we zoomed over, ran to the doorstep, knocked, and knocked, and knocked.  No one answered the door.  I was crushed with disappointment.  This is two times in a row that we have tried to plan a little hike with them, and it's always something.  This drives me more crazy than anything.  I just want to be grandma.  I just want to leave memories with the little ones in my life.

I'm not asking to be grandma of the year, or take the kids for a month.  I just want time with them.  I'm always afraid that I won't get as much time with my grandchildren as I want.  Hopefully the Lord will see how much my grandchildren mean to me, and allow me lots of time on earth with them.

So please....don't drive me crazy by keeping the kids away.  They are my reason for being here, for living.  They are the reason I get up in the morning.  The reason I keep going even when my body doesn't want to.

Yes, things drive me batty.   Most of it is unimportant, as long as the old folks don't run over me.  But family makes me crazy with happiness.  Thank you to those in law and outlaw children who are respectful, and try so hard to make my life even better.  I love you, and I appreciate you sharing your most precious children with me.

"What's for Dinner?"

Is it just me, or are women everywhere sick of hearing, "What's for dinner?"  I have to fight every sarcastic bone in my body not to reply with some smart remark.  I have tried a few replies like, "I don't know, what do you want?"  But that doesn't work either because the person will just stand and stare at me, with puppy eyes and absolutely NO suggestions.
Did they once think that I really don't know what is for dinner!  Some days I plan ahead, or I get the crock pot going, then there's no doubt.  But half the time I don't know what's for dinner either.  I go through a very scientific way of deciding what's for dinner.  Here are my top ten ways you can decide:

10. Ask yourself if you really want dinner, or would a snack due?
9. Tell your husband what a terrible day you have had.  Sometimes they take mercy on us.
8. Look in the freezer and see if there is something not covered with freezer burn.
7. Check the pantry for easy, sleazy packaged meals.
6. Attempt getting someone, anyone, to help.
5. Delay thinking about dinner as long as possible.
4. Start wishing that  Fabio will show up in your kitchen holding a pot of something.
3. Give up on the wishing, and look for the easiest thing to make.
2. Think about all the starving kids in Africa.
1. Cook for those starving kids and feed your family

Now, I say the kids in Africa only because I grew up cleaning everything off my plate because of all the starving children in Africa, or was it China?  Anyway, back to the subject at hand.  Right now my 24 year old is staring at me like a vulture.  He knows not to ask what's for dinner because he saw me writing this.  Otherwise, I'm sure he would have questioned me before now. I tried asking him to cook,and he told me ,"nice try."  NICE TRY!!!!!! Is that all a mother can expect after 24 years of caring for this boy?  Maybe it is all in my attitude.  I'm going to try and get excited about the frozen meat ( very freezer burned), the old tortillas in the refrigerator, and some ancient rice in the cupboard.  This is going to be the meal of meals I can tell already.  So , "What's for dinner?"  It can be anything.  I think I'll start replying with , "It's a surprise!"  That is an honest answer, because I really don't know, and perhaps it will end up being one of my greatest creations ever.  It might also end up sending my family to the bathroom immediately after eating:)  Oh well, SURPRISE!

"Let my People Go"

I don't recall where I first heard the expression, "Let my people go."  Maybe it was in the Ten Commandment movie, or in the scriptures, or in some southern slavery movie.  But for some reason, that expression has been in my mind all morning.

I've contemplated just what that could mean in my life.  Does it mean letting go of the people in our past?  Or does it refer to present day people, or is it me crying out for some calmness and order in my life.

Over the past year, I have become too addicted to the computer.  Maybe that's what this means.  The computer has a hold on me, that I need to break away from.  Just like in one of those horror movie's when an inanimate object springs to life, and clutches the person and eats them alive!  That's it!  It is the computer screaming, "Let my people go."  I need  to run as fast as I can away from the clutches of my two computers.

You know, I think I need to be on a computer diet, along with the food diet, exercise diet, reading diet, and diet until your butt falls off diet.  I need to be put in time out, and while I'm there, could someone please put Dr. McSteamy in time out with me?  That would help me stay put much longer.

Oh, and while I am punishing myself, by limiting my computer addiction...could some kind person include some chocolate and Cafe Rio for me and McSteamy?

Seriously though, there are people in my life that I never want to let go of.  And there is one or two along the way, that I could place my foot in the center of their behind ,and kick them to the curb!  There are very few people I dislike.  Usually, they are people who have been unkind to me and to others, and to them I say, "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"  Start being  a caring, compassionate adult.  Put others first.  Stop thinking YOU are the center of the universe.  Those of you who love me, and know me, know to whom this message is directed.

Ok, so to end this rambling blog I have decided to limit the number of times I check my e-mails and Facebook each day.  Once in the morning, and once in the evening.  The time I waste on the computer can be spent preparing to be a Nun:)  What a life that would be. Wear the same clothes everyday, no makeup or hair worries, no man to please.  Sounds pretty good doesn't it!  Of course I am kidding.  My newly found time will be spent scrapbooking, reading the scriptutres, reading for fun, and taking care of myself.  And yes, that includes the work till your butt falls off diet!!!!

Just how many calories can possibily be in a Vanilla Wafer?

Don't you just hate this time of year? Everyone is going on a diet, everyone is going to get healthy, everyone is going to get skinny, everyone is going to do these things.... but ME! It isn't that I don't have a desire to do these things. It isn't a lack of motivation or information. It's just that I haven't found a "plan" yet, that totally works for me.'''

I considered a cereal diet ( until you look at the sugars, carbs, and calories. How about a Doctor Oz drink I ventured. But I cannot, and will not drink a drink of green slim made from raw kale and collard greens. My stomach doesn't even recognize these foods until way into the afternoon.

So i decided to look for something I like, that is plain, and yet full filling ( for a treat.) I looked thoughtfully into my pantry and found lots of cans, boxes, and nicks nacks out the patty whack!
Suddenly my eyes fell upon a box of vanilla wafers. How bad could a little cookie, with no frosting be? Surely it had to be 5 calories! I carefully began to inspect the box, avoiding the product information as long as possible. I noticed the box said, Reduced Fat Vanilla Wafers.

I was feeling pretty pumped by now. I anticipated a large cereal bowl filled to the rim with the tiny little plain cookies. Then I read the dreaded label. I could eat 8 tiny boring cookies for 120 calories, and 2 grams of fat. Eight cookies...are you kidding me! The are the size of a quarter, no frosty or candy, plain as a board.

How can I stick to eight morsels a day, when in the pantry right next to them are chocolate fiber bars, chocolate chips, nuts, chips, crackers? "There must be a better way," I scream to myself. If I scream out loud my family might think I have lost it....again!

Well, I'll tell you what I am going to do. I am going to take my eight cookies for the night, and enjoy them one at a time. Maybe I'll lick the cookie, then suck on it, and chew it oh so slowly. By the time I do this 8 times, I won't be interested in that jar of Very Vanilla Frosting with chocolate chips that taste so good. OOPS, my secret is out! Happy dieting.

"Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus"

Years and years ago, there was an article in the New York Times that answered the question, "Is there really a Santa Claus?" In answer to the little girl's question,she was assured that yes, indeed, there is a Santa.

Thinking back over this year I am mindful of the ways our pleas for assistance have been answered. But instead of Santa, our answers have come from a loving, and kind, Father in Heaven.

In May we were blessed with our eighth grandchild, Kiley. What a sweet, special little baby she is. Nothing melts my heart as fast as when she recognizes me, and gives me big smiles and kisses. We are so thankful for her in our lives, and we know her parents, and big sister, Shelby love her very much.

We are grateful that a good doctor discovered what was making little Kiley sick, and thankful that it is something that can be treated. I feel confident that all will be well with this special baby girl.

We had the privilege of loving and holding our ninth grandchild, and then returning him to live with his Heavenly Father. Tanner was much loved, and much wanted. Perhaps he was so perfect that he didn't need to be here very long. I am grateful for the presence he was in our lives, and look forward to meeting him again one day. When I visit his tiny grave, I am reminded of what a gift life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. We are grateful Tanner's mother was protected and watched over. We are grateful for the way in which Dave handled everything in such a spiritual and thoughtful way.

Today we learned that Xander has PDD, which, with therapy, is treatable. I am so grateful for good doctors and medicine that can help us all be well. Xander is a special little boy. Right now, he is the only Stephenson boy in our family. He is a lovable and sweet tempered little boy. As he receives the therapy he needs, I know he will progress. I'm thankful for people who are trained to work with special needs children. They are angels in my book.

This year, my kidney function improved to the highest it has ever been. When I was so sick, three years ago, they told me my kidneys would never improve. But they have, and I am so grateful to enjoy improved health, and pray that heavenly Father will keep me on this earth for a long time. I want to live to hold great grandchildren, see my grand kids go on missions, and be married in the temple.

Back in May, I would not have believed that I would still have my mother here. Mom had a massive stroke. In the beginning she couldn't even lift an arm. She was unable to talk,feed herself, move her head. It was terrible. It was awful to watch her suffer, but she has hung in there and came through hell. I'm so proud of the way she has tried, and not given up. I am extremely proud of my dad, and the way he has stepped up and taken over mom's care. I know this is hard for both of them. But I am grateful to still have both my parents. Mom's birthday is on Monday, Dec. 27th. I cannot believe she has lived to see this birthday.

Matthew about tore his finger off in an accident this year. But the finger has healed, and Matt has continued to amaze us. He is one of a kind. I don't think you could find any better 10 year old boy. He is so loving and kind. I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments. He is now singing in a choir, and playing basketball.

Talia has taken to reading like a fish takes to water. She is doing so well. Talia is a very deep thinker, and a girl with her emotions on her sleeve. She was so tender and sweet at Tanner's funeral. I will never forget catching her in a moment when she was alone at the grave site with Tanner. She looked so thoughtful and angelic as she sat by the brother she never got to know. I'm proud of Talia in so many ways. On Jan. 1, 2011 Talia will be baptized.

Emily just got baptized last week on Dec. 18, 2010. She stood and sang a song with her mother. The song was in separate parts, and Emily did so great. I can remember when Emme was about 3 years old, and painfully shy. Now she sings, plays the piano, and dances in a dance group. She is amazing also. She is at the top of her class, and is also an outstanding student. Emme and I have a special relationship, and she knows how much I love her.

What can I possibly say about our Cicily? She is a sweetheart. Everyone wants to be Cicily's friend. When you are around her, you can sense the caring feelings she has for those around her. She too, has done well in school. She is a great example and loves the little ones. I'm proud of Cicily. She teaches me by example, and I know she is a great help to her mom and dad.

Nate is my farm boy. He and I love to play farm and cars when he is over. Nate is very meticulous. he lines those cars up perfectly, and is a great pretend farmer. Nate loves the dirt as much as any little boy can love anything. he plays for hours with his trucks in the dirt. When I see him in his overalls, he reminds me of my grandpa who wore overalls much of his life. Nate too is a sweet boy, and doing great in pre-school.

Shelby is definitely one of grandma's top fan club members. Shelby and I have played farm, furniture, zoo, babies, music people, witches, worker men, and many other things, people, and situations. She is so bright. She remembers everything you say or promise. There is no way to fool Shelby. She has a million questions. I get such a kick out of her, and the funny things she says from her perspective of things. Shelby and I are tight:)

I mentioned Xander earlier. He is a sweet boy, and very lovable. He looks so much like Dave did as a little boy. Xander is going wide open all the time. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for him. He too likes playing cars, puzzles, and running, running, running. I swear he has one speed only...FAST! I have a feeling that Xander is going to teach all of us some more about life, and I love him for that.

Kiley, our baby, couldn't be any sweeter. She is a little angel. She loves her mommy and daddy, and Shelby can always get her to giggle and laugh. Kiley is everywhere. She is crawling and pulling herself up to everything. She has started baby food, and loves the little puffy snacks. Kiley has the most kissable neck and face. I just can't get enough loving in:)

In November, my baby, Jonathan was in a one car rollover that could have killed him. I cannot tell anyone the depth of worry and despair I felt when we heard that he had been in this accident. I know that God protected him, and heard our prayers and pleas for his safety and well-being. I wish more than anything, that Jon can be happy and feel the love that he desires. I'm proud of his progress in college. I have seen him buckle down and work for hours on end. I know God has a plan for him.

This year I was able to reconnect with many of my old friends. We also had a class reunion. It was great to see everyone. I have been able to reconnect with my oldest, and dearest, childhood friend. It has blessed my life when I needed a friend.

Speaking of friends. I am blessed with wonderful in-law children, and a daughter who continually amazes me. My boys are all good men, and work hard to provide for their families. I hope they know how pleased we are with them. And lastly, I am blessed with a good man. Larry takes good care of me, and I know he loves me. I hope I can be a better wife and companion.

Thank you to all my special friends from here to Minn. , Washington State, Texas, and beyond. You people are the cream of the crop, and you have blessed my life for years.

So for me, there is a Santa all year long. I see him in the faces of my grandchildren. In the kisses and hugs from my parents. From the concerned phone calls from Mark each day. I see Santa in Facebook, and the friends I have gained there. In the thoughtful ways in which Pam takes care of me, and checks on me. Santa is in the example I see of Rachel...going to school full time, and being a great full time mother. I don't see how she gets so much done in a day!

When I hear compliments about Dave, Tab, Jon, Justin, Mark, Pam, Rachel, and Larry I am so proud of my family. Each and every one of them is unique and important to this family. So yes indeed, there is a Santa. Thank you Lord for watching over me and those I love.
Merry Christmas to all and Happy Holidays

The Ying and Yang of My Life

Tonight is one of those nights; but today has been one of those days. Let me tell you exactly where I am going with this. Every day we have ups and downs. Sometimes it is easier to focus on the "downs" because they are right there in our face. But upon reflection, there are so many more "ups" than downs in our days.

My day went something like this. Got up and did my thing. Went to Kohl's for a little retail therapy ( and Christmas shopping.) Then went and saw Dr. Mitsokowa about getting my tooth implant. What a nice man he is. He always treats you like a family member. Even though he is expensive; he is still the best guy in town.

Next I headed across the thriving city of St. George, and went to Ivins to stay with mom. I fixed her lunch and got her electric blanket out for her. She is always freezing, and she was so grateful for that warm blanket. And, by the way...it was a spectacular sandwich. When dad returned, I called Pam and tracked her and the girls down. We met at Wal-mart and I pushed a cart around for her. Shelby was chatting the entire time, and I loved every minute of it! Three year olds can say the most interesting comments.

Then Shelby and I dashed home to get a broiler pan for Pam to use. She is going all out tonight with dinner. I fed Shelby some "mac-a-moni" for lunch, then we loaded up and went to pick up Nate from pre-school. When he saw me and my yellow car he was thrilled. He always yells, "GRANDMA!" It's wonderful. I packed up Nate and Shelby and headed for Pam's house. The kids love to play together. Their favorite thing to play is "dog catcher." I left Pam with three kids, and a nutty dog, and headed back home to tutor my third grade student.

Upon arriving home, I checked in with my health counselor, who is a jewel. Her name is Maria, and she is absolutely wonderful in helping me stay motivated. I scheduled family photos, and a hair appointment. Then I was ready to tutor.

This tutoring is the most amazing thing for me right now. I am able to use my skills and training, and hopefully make a difference in this little girl's life. She did so well tonight, I got misty eyed and had to fight the tears. What a full day. Full of great people, and people I love and care about. Then there are all the people that I am thinking about, and care about. Those friends I love, and family I worry about.

All in all the day was great. I like to stay busy, and I was feeling so pumped up about tutoring. Then I went downstairs to check on my youngest son, and in less than 30 seconds he completely attempted to ruin my day. Mean, rude, and cruel are the words that come to mind. If I did not completely love this kid so much...I wouldn't still let him live here. But herein is my challenge; to reflect back upon the positives of the day, and not let one person define how I feel.

I watched a little of Marie Osmond on Oprah today. My heart ached for her as she told about losing her son to suicide. He was depressed, and held it all inside. So maybe I am blessed that my son acts out, because at least there is some dialogue. You can see I am really reaching to understand him, and keep my own feelings in perspective.

Life is an interesting experience. When I think that I could have missed out on the last ten years of my life...it is very sobering. I am thankful to be alive. I'm blessed to still be here, and have a great family. Yes, we have our problems like everyone else. But we are blessed with so much....especially one another.

So if your day seems to be up and down, take time to reflect and ponder upon the ups, and refuse to let the downs define you. Life is a journey, not a destination...enjoy the ride!

Reflections on Fall

There is nothing quite as beautiful as the leaves of fall. I love to get up in the morning and look at the different colors of trees in our yard. I don't know if you have noticed, but there is also a special and unique smell of fall.

The air is so crisp and clean, it reminds me of being up in the mountains. I miss the sounds of the rustling quaking aspen, and the smell of the pines. However, I do enjoy the leaves when we rake them together and let the grandkids jump in them. That always brings back fond memories to me of being at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Milton. We would play in the leaves until they became wet, and then Grandpa would insist we rake them up for good. But what fun we enjoyed with just leaves...life was so much less complicated then.