Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Guilty Pleasures

Yes, you read the title correctly...guilty pleasures.  Can you imagine me confessing to such things?  Well, here goes.  My David Letterman list of things I normally wouldn't own up to, but enjoy doing. 

1. Licking the icing out of the icing container
2. Watching your favorite TV show while devouring a box of cereal ( the one everyone else loves!)
3. Retail therapy anytime:)
4. Sneaking your husband's change into your piggy bank ( he never notices)
5. Ordering yourself a Big Mac(calories and all)
6. Dancing around the house when no one is looking ( thank goodness)
7. Having an easy day around the house, then calling your husband and telling him to bring dinner
8. Buying and eating a candy bar, or having a secret stash that no one knows about...HA HA!
9. Making brownies for yourself and eating half of it
10. Sunday sickness ( you all know what this is...those moments when you feel fine until just before church when you are suddenly attacked with a terrible headache etc.)  That is not why I missed this last week.  I really was sick!

Of course, I could list other things that I consider guilty pleasures, but I don't want to bore you any longer.  However, I might say that everyone needs a guilty pleasure once in awhile.  It's healthy to reward yourself ...YOU DESERVE IT!  Sometimes I think we are too afraid of being human.  It's ok to say that you feel like crap, or your sick of the dishes.  It's normal to feel a little rebellious at times.  I call this safe rebellion, like wearing something weird, dying your hair a strange color, seeing a naughty movie:)...only pg-13 of course. (I'm not THAT naughty.)

Own up to being sick of watching Dora for the tenth time in a row.  Admit to hating the smell of another batch of chicken nuggets.  Express your desire for a lunch that doesn't include hot dogs and macaroni and cheese!

Search for a quiet place, even if that means the bathroom.  Take a book with you, sit on the pot, and enjoy the luxury of not doing anything for a moment.  Of course, if your like me, my kids would always stand outside the bathroom door and listen.  What did they expect to hear?  Did they think I might be sucked down the toilet?  I think our kids thought that I would somehow vanish if I were in there alone.

Actually, to sum up this entry I just want to encourage all my friends to catch a break now and then; and don't feel guilty about it.  Life is a pleasure, and I'm grateful to be here with all of you, and those I love so dear. Find a quiet place, and eat a plate of brownies on me!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Dust Dust Go Away...Don't Come Back Another Day!

Ok, let me start by giving you a few clues to see if you know who or what I am referring to.  This thing is everywhere, it can be found inside and outside, and it is irritating.  No, it is not your neighbor!  I'm referring to DUST.  It is everywhere.  I swear, I just dust a table, turn around, and by the time I look back the dust has already resettled on the table.

In my younger years, I prided myself on being the dust master.  I wouldn't allow dust to live at my house.  But with the wisdom of age, I too have discovered what many of you already is hopeless!  Dust the dresser, and the dust moves to the nightstand.  Dust the nightstand and it moves to the bookshelf.  If you look closely you can see the dust laughing at your futile attempts to permanently dispose of it.

Dust reminds me of the ants we have in Southern Utah.  You can poison those suckers with an entire bag of ant kill, and they just move and pop up somewhere else.  I've tried poisoning them, drowning them, even burning the hole.  Let me tell you, that doesn't work.  Neither does burning half your property down, but that's Larry story!  Sorry, I just can't let him forget it too soon.

Anyway, back to ants and dust.You can also add 109 degree weather to the list of irritating things.  The heat transforms people into living and breathing fighting machines.  They'll fight for the closest parking stall, leave their cars running with kids and animals inside, while they dash into the minute market.  Normally nice people suddenly start chewing their arm, and yours off about everything. When it's this hot you'd better be careful about approaching people, and make sure your children don't blurt out something about the stinky, sweating guy in line ahead of you.  This does not make friends and influence people.

After deep thought, which totally drains me, I have decided that the heat, ants, and dust are welcome to each other.  For all I care the heat can burn up the ants, and move the dust from room to room.  I personally am going to boycott dusting.  What's the most that can happen?  A dust monster might get me?   Tremendous guilt might overwhelm me?  I might have nightmares about ants and dust?  Nah!  Not going to happen.

So friends unite.  Put the dust buster down.  Put the ant poison away.  Some say everything is going to hell in a hand basket anyway; so sit back in your dust and enjoy the entertainment:)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

It's the Little Things that Matter

I've been waiting for inspiration about something to write about, when it dawned on me that I should write about the little things that matter .

First off, I appreciate a polite person on the phone.  I've also discovered the secret to speaking with insurance people that just makes them melt in your hand like butter.  Here's the secret.  When they answer your call and state their name, write it down.  Then call them by name through-out your conversation, and especially as you are ending the call.  People love that.  Give it a try.

My next little piece of advice is to smile at people when they flip you off while driving.  It drives them nuts.  Once I rolled down my window and yelled, "Have a great day."  It really made Mr. Crazy Driver irritated.  I loved it.

When checking out at Wal-mart or wherever, help your checker out.  I open the bags as the checker spins the bag thing around.  They really appreciate it, and it makes you feel good inside.  If your lucky, the checker may smile at you as a bonus:)

Don't feel guilty about taking a short nap once in awhile.  It's taken me years to figure this out.  But moms, you deserve a break.  So what if the dishes aren't done, or the laundry isn't folded.  It will be there 15 minutes later, and you will feel refreshed and ready to go.

Just recently, I have discovered this little matter.  Don't talk to your husband when he is in his recliner.  Chances are he is in the zone, or sound asleep and won't hear a word you say.  I had an entire conversation with Larry today, and after talking for 10 minutes discovered he was asleep under those glasses of his.  I knew this when I threw in the statement, "and the pink elephants threw up."  He didn't even blink!  No more one way conversations. He is going to have to be standing up on two feet, with his eyes fully open.

Size does matter!  Wouldn't you rather have a large drink than a small one?  Or a super ice cream cone, instead of the kid's cone in a cup?  Well, I would rather have a little meat on my man than no meat at all.  Larry has decided to become a marathon runner.  That's great, but he has now shrunk to the size of a gremlin, and I feel like his mother next to him!  I never realized how much I loved those love handles!  I don't know what to do about this matter.  I can't run because of my knees, but I am going to have to do something in order to be with the incredible shrinking man.  Don't you just hate it when someone gets all healthy on you?

Always put fun and family first.  I wish I had taken more time to enjoy my kids when they were little.  Now I get to enjoy my grandchildren, and it is the absolute best thing in the world.  So you young moms....enjoy the moments.  They grow up and leave before you know it. Although, we have one that kind of left, and has came back!  Lots more memories to make with him:)  Speaking of which, one of the funnest things Jon and I do, when we are alone and bored is to put on Phantom of the Opera and sing and act out the play!  It's hysterical to see my 6'7" son, standing on the stair way singing the Phantom's songs to me.  Awesome!  I know, you all think that is weird...but try it.  It's fun.  As a little girl I would stand on the footstool and sing along with my parents country records.  In fact, my sisters fought with me about whose turn it was to be on the footstool.

Lastly, what ever happened to getting those big catalogs in the mail from Penney's and Montgomery Wards?  We would sit for hours and cut things out of the catalogs.  Then we used them as paper dolls.  Well, I am way off message now.  I think I've taken a tour down memory lane.  But my point today is that little things matter.  It can be a smile, a wave, a kind deed, or silliness.  But it all matters.