With the loss of our grandson this last week,; the question has been raised about when life really begins. Some say life begins when the baby is born and the spirit enters the body. Others believe it is when you begin to feel the baby move inside you. And others like myself, believe that life begins at conception.
However, if you really contemplate this idea, you could say that conception is sparked by a simple kiss, a special look, a yearning of the spirits of two humans to share intimacy. Really, it is the fore=play of a couple that is responsible for the conception. And isn't that fabulous! To think that life is created from love.
I suppose that is why we all loved this baby so much. He only survived 5 months in the womb, but his parents felt him, and watched him move on the sonogram. They listened to his heart beating. His grainy, in womb picture, is all I have of him. Its on my phone. At first I wanted to delete it, but I just couldn't. It would be like denying he had ever lived on this earth.
Losing this baby and pregnancy is something new to our family. We have been blessed to have had normal pregnancies and births. Our grandchildren happy and healthy. They represent life to me ever day of my life. Each morning when I wake up; I am so thankful for another day. To watch my children grow into responsible adults, and my grandchildren into my best friends.
Life is a journey, not a destination. And although through life we come across some hard, and difficult things...if we think of the Atonement,and our love of God, we can get through these things, and merge stronger and more committed. I want to live better so that one day I can meet this grandson and put my arms around him. I know that if I do my part, I will see Tanner again.
He was such a special spirit that maybe God decided he did not have to go through the travels and hardships of life. One day we will know.
So my little Tanner. Tomorrow when we say goodbye, it will only be for a moment in time. We know where you are; in the arms of our Savior. We will try to live our lives to the best of our abilities to honor your name. I love you my precious angel baby.