"Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus"

Years and years ago, there was an article in the New York Times that answered the question, "Is there really a Santa Claus?" In answer to the little girl's question,she was assured that yes, indeed, there is a Santa.

Thinking back over this year I am mindful of the ways our pleas for assistance have been answered. But instead of Santa, our answers have come from a loving, and kind, Father in Heaven.

In May we were blessed with our eighth grandchild, Kiley. What a sweet, special little baby she is. Nothing melts my heart as fast as when she recognizes me, and gives me big smiles and kisses. We are so thankful for her in our lives, and we know her parents, and big sister, Shelby love her very much.

We are grateful that a good doctor discovered what was making little Kiley sick, and thankful that it is something that can be treated. I feel confident that all will be well with this special baby girl.

We had the privilege of loving and holding our ninth grandchild, and then returning him to live with his Heavenly Father. Tanner was much loved, and much wanted. Perhaps he was so perfect that he didn't need to be here very long. I am grateful for the presence he was in our lives, and look forward to meeting him again one day. When I visit his tiny grave, I am reminded of what a gift life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. We are grateful Tanner's mother was protected and watched over. We are grateful for the way in which Dave handled everything in such a spiritual and thoughtful way.

Today we learned that Xander has PDD, which, with therapy, is treatable. I am so grateful for good doctors and medicine that can help us all be well. Xander is a special little boy. Right now, he is the only Stephenson boy in our family. He is a lovable and sweet tempered little boy. As he receives the therapy he needs, I know he will progress. I'm thankful for people who are trained to work with special needs children. They are angels in my book.

This year, my kidney function improved to the highest it has ever been. When I was so sick, three years ago, they told me my kidneys would never improve. But they have, and I am so grateful to enjoy improved health, and pray that heavenly Father will keep me on this earth for a long time. I want to live to hold great grandchildren, see my grand kids go on missions, and be married in the temple.

Back in May, I would not have believed that I would still have my mother here. Mom had a massive stroke. In the beginning she couldn't even lift an arm. She was unable to talk,feed herself, move her head. It was terrible. It was awful to watch her suffer, but she has hung in there and came through hell. I'm so proud of the way she has tried, and not given up. I am extremely proud of my dad, and the way he has stepped up and taken over mom's care. I know this is hard for both of them. But I am grateful to still have both my parents. Mom's birthday is on Monday, Dec. 27th. I cannot believe she has lived to see this birthday.

Matthew about tore his finger off in an accident this year. But the finger has healed, and Matt has continued to amaze us. He is one of a kind. I don't think you could find any better 10 year old boy. He is so loving and kind. I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments. He is now singing in a choir, and playing basketball.

Talia has taken to reading like a fish takes to water. She is doing so well. Talia is a very deep thinker, and a girl with her emotions on her sleeve. She was so tender and sweet at Tanner's funeral. I will never forget catching her in a moment when she was alone at the grave site with Tanner. She looked so thoughtful and angelic as she sat by the brother she never got to know. I'm proud of Talia in so many ways. On Jan. 1, 2011 Talia will be baptized.

Emily just got baptized last week on Dec. 18, 2010. She stood and sang a song with her mother. The song was in separate parts, and Emily did so great. I can remember when Emme was about 3 years old, and painfully shy. Now she sings, plays the piano, and dances in a dance group. She is amazing also. She is at the top of her class, and is also an outstanding student. Emme and I have a special relationship, and she knows how much I love her.

What can I possibly say about our Cicily? She is a sweetheart. Everyone wants to be Cicily's friend. When you are around her, you can sense the caring feelings she has for those around her. She too, has done well in school. She is a great example and loves the little ones. I'm proud of Cicily. She teaches me by example, and I know she is a great help to her mom and dad.

Nate is my farm boy. He and I love to play farm and cars when he is over. Nate is very meticulous. he lines those cars up perfectly, and is a great pretend farmer. Nate loves the dirt as much as any little boy can love anything. he plays for hours with his trucks in the dirt. When I see him in his overalls, he reminds me of my grandpa who wore overalls much of his life. Nate too is a sweet boy, and doing great in pre-school.

Shelby is definitely one of grandma's top fan club members. Shelby and I have played farm, furniture, zoo, babies, music people, witches, worker men, and many other things, people, and situations. She is so bright. She remembers everything you say or promise. There is no way to fool Shelby. She has a million questions. I get such a kick out of her, and the funny things she says from her perspective of things. Shelby and I are tight:)

I mentioned Xander earlier. He is a sweet boy, and very lovable. He looks so much like Dave did as a little boy. Xander is going wide open all the time. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for him. He too likes playing cars, puzzles, and running, running, running. I swear he has one speed only...FAST! I have a feeling that Xander is going to teach all of us some more about life, and I love him for that.

Kiley, our baby, couldn't be any sweeter. She is a little angel. She loves her mommy and daddy, and Shelby can always get her to giggle and laugh. Kiley is everywhere. She is crawling and pulling herself up to everything. She has started baby food, and loves the little puffy snacks. Kiley has the most kissable neck and face. I just can't get enough loving in:)

In November, my baby, Jonathan was in a one car rollover that could have killed him. I cannot tell anyone the depth of worry and despair I felt when we heard that he had been in this accident. I know that God protected him, and heard our prayers and pleas for his safety and well-being. I wish more than anything, that Jon can be happy and feel the love that he desires. I'm proud of his progress in college. I have seen him buckle down and work for hours on end. I know God has a plan for him.

This year I was able to reconnect with many of my old friends. We also had a class reunion. It was great to see everyone. I have been able to reconnect with my oldest, and dearest, childhood friend. It has blessed my life when I needed a friend.

Speaking of friends. I am blessed with wonderful in-law children, and a daughter who continually amazes me. My boys are all good men, and work hard to provide for their families. I hope they know how pleased we are with them. And lastly, I am blessed with a good man. Larry takes good care of me, and I know he loves me. I hope I can be a better wife and companion.

Thank you to all my special friends from here to Minn. , Washington State, Texas, and beyond. You people are the cream of the crop, and you have blessed my life for years.

So for me, there is a Santa all year long. I see him in the faces of my grandchildren. In the kisses and hugs from my parents. From the concerned phone calls from Mark each day. I see Santa in Facebook, and the friends I have gained there. In the thoughtful ways in which Pam takes care of me, and checks on me. Santa is in the example I see of Rachel...going to school full time, and being a great full time mother. I don't see how she gets so much done in a day!

When I hear compliments about Dave, Tab, Jon, Justin, Mark, Pam, Rachel, and Larry I am so proud of my family. Each and every one of them is unique and important to this family. So yes indeed, there is a Santa. Thank you Lord for watching over me and those I love.
Merry Christmas to all and Happy Holidays

The Ying and Yang of My Life

Tonight is one of those nights; but today has been one of those days. Let me tell you exactly where I am going with this. Every day we have ups and downs. Sometimes it is easier to focus on the "downs" because they are right there in our face. But upon reflection, there are so many more "ups" than downs in our days.

My day went something like this. Got up and did my thing. Went to Kohl's for a little retail therapy ( and Christmas shopping.) Then went and saw Dr. Mitsokowa about getting my tooth implant. What a nice man he is. He always treats you like a family member. Even though he is expensive; he is still the best guy in town.

Next I headed across the thriving city of St. George, and went to Ivins to stay with mom. I fixed her lunch and got her electric blanket out for her. She is always freezing, and she was so grateful for that warm blanket. And, by the way...it was a spectacular sandwich. When dad returned, I called Pam and tracked her and the girls down. We met at Wal-mart and I pushed a cart around for her. Shelby was chatting the entire time, and I loved every minute of it! Three year olds can say the most interesting comments.

Then Shelby and I dashed home to get a broiler pan for Pam to use. She is going all out tonight with dinner. I fed Shelby some "mac-a-moni" for lunch, then we loaded up and went to pick up Nate from pre-school. When he saw me and my yellow car he was thrilled. He always yells, "GRANDMA!" It's wonderful. I packed up Nate and Shelby and headed for Pam's house. The kids love to play together. Their favorite thing to play is "dog catcher." I left Pam with three kids, and a nutty dog, and headed back home to tutor my third grade student.

Upon arriving home, I checked in with my health counselor, who is a jewel. Her name is Maria, and she is absolutely wonderful in helping me stay motivated. I scheduled family photos, and a hair appointment. Then I was ready to tutor.

This tutoring is the most amazing thing for me right now. I am able to use my skills and training, and hopefully make a difference in this little girl's life. She did so well tonight, I got misty eyed and had to fight the tears. What a full day. Full of great people, and people I love and care about. Then there are all the people that I am thinking about, and care about. Those friends I love, and family I worry about.

All in all the day was great. I like to stay busy, and I was feeling so pumped up about tutoring. Then I went downstairs to check on my youngest son, and in less than 30 seconds he completely attempted to ruin my day. Mean, rude, and cruel are the words that come to mind. If I did not completely love this kid so much...I wouldn't still let him live here. But herein is my challenge; to reflect back upon the positives of the day, and not let one person define how I feel.

I watched a little of Marie Osmond on Oprah today. My heart ached for her as she told about losing her son to suicide. He was depressed, and held it all inside. So maybe I am blessed that my son acts out, because at least there is some dialogue. You can see I am really reaching to understand him, and keep my own feelings in perspective.

Life is an interesting experience. When I think that I could have missed out on the last ten years of my life...it is very sobering. I am thankful to be alive. I'm blessed to still be here, and have a great family. Yes, we have our problems like everyone else. But we are blessed with so much....especially one another.

So if your day seems to be up and down, take time to reflect and ponder upon the ups, and refuse to let the downs define you. Life is a journey, not a destination...enjoy the ride!

Reflections on Fall

There is nothing quite as beautiful as the leaves of fall. I love to get up in the morning and look at the different colors of trees in our yard. I don't know if you have noticed, but there is also a special and unique smell of fall.

The air is so crisp and clean, it reminds me of being up in the mountains. I miss the sounds of the rustling quaking aspen, and the smell of the pines. However, I do enjoy the leaves when we rake them together and let the grandkids jump in them. That always brings back fond memories to me of being at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Milton. We would play in the leaves until they became wet, and then Grandpa would insist we rake them up for good. But what fun we enjoyed with just leaves...life was so much less complicated then.

A Tribute to Tanner Stephenson

With the loss of our grandson this last week,; the question has been raised about when life really begins. Some say life begins when the baby is born and the spirit enters the body. Others believe it is when you begin to feel the baby move inside you. And others like myself, believe that life begins at conception.

However, if you really contemplate this idea, you could say that conception is sparked by a simple kiss, a special look, a yearning of the spirits of two humans to share intimacy. Really, it is the fore=play of a couple that is responsible for the conception. And isn't that fabulous! To think that life is created from love.

I suppose that is why we all loved this baby so much. He only survived 5 months in the womb, but his parents felt him, and watched him move on the sonogram. They listened to his heart beating. His grainy, in womb picture, is all I have of him. Its on my phone. At first I wanted to delete it, but I just couldn't. It would be like denying he had ever lived on this earth.

Losing this baby and pregnancy is something new to our family. We have been blessed to have had normal pregnancies and births. Our grandchildren happy and healthy. They represent life to me ever day of my life. Each morning when I wake up; I am so thankful for another day. To watch my children grow into responsible adults, and my grandchildren into my best friends.

Life is a journey, not a destination. And although through life we come across some hard, and difficult things...if we think of the Atonement,and our love of God, we can get through these things, and merge stronger and more committed. I want to live better so that one day I can meet this grandson and put my arms around him. I know that if I do my part, I will see Tanner again.

He was such a special spirit that maybe God decided he did not have to go through the travels and hardships of life. One day we will know.

So my little Tanner. Tomorrow when we say goodbye, it will only be for a moment in time. We know where you are; in the arms of our Savior. We will try to live our lives to the best of our abilities to honor your name. I love you my precious angel baby.

Am I too old to learn?

The other day, after watching hours of GCM and CMT with my parents, I decided I wanted to learn a new skill. I've decided I want to learn how to play the guitar; and no....I do not want to be on CMT or be a "music writer." I just want to strum along to basic songs for the grand kids at camp outs, or holidays.

I announced this plan on Facebook. Big mistake! Now I have to try. My questions to myself is, "Am I too old to learn a new thing like playing the guitar?" Debating this issue finally lead me to Barns and Noble where I purchased a book with a CD. Now I really feel committed. Usually shopping and buying is such a high for me, but this time I knew it would be different. It would mean COMMITMENT!

The young man who rang up my purchase looked at me with a smile, and ask if I was getting it for myself. I wanted to lie and say no, but being like old George...I could not tell a lie. Immediately, upon admitting to this temporary bout of insanity, he started telling me his life history of playing the guitar. He played bass, he played electric, he played for his Spanish Class at PVHS, he played for the little children at the Lutheran church. On and on and on. I was waiting for him to say he had played at Woodstock, but he was too young for that!

I left Barns and Noble with a new sense of determination...I will learn the guitar. Don't expect Blake Shelton, Johnny Cash, or Carrie Underwood. Maybe I'll shoot for ,"Row, Row, Row Your Boat," that sounds right down my guitar strings ...if you know what I mean! If you see me with bloody fingers, you'll know I have went over the top. But I am going to give it a try. I never said I would play the guitar well...just play it!

Observations

Walking in the park the other day, I was amazed to come upon several flocks of little tiny birds. They had bright yellow, or bright red breasts. I'd say they were the size of a twinkie. As I walked quietly by, all of the birds immediately took flight...except one little bird.

Now, although I know I posed no threat to this tiny bird, I was surprised at how long it just stood there and watched me. I stopped and watched it back. I wondered why this one bird would dare to stay behind, when all of the others had taken flight and perched in the branches of the trees for safety?

Later in the day, I watched as two new baby calves raced across the field; ignoring the other cows and fence lines around them. They were having unabashed fun. I'll confess; I envied them for a moment. It must be nice to run and play, and not have responsibilities to fulfill.

When I arrived home after observing these events of nature; I felt compelled to stop and really take a serious look around me. I walked around the yard and really looked at the yard and our home. It brought back fond memories of when we ran and played with our children. There were times of unabashed fun, and silliness. Now our children have grown, we have the blessing of each of our grandchildren near by. They can make me laugh quicker than anything. They can help me enjoy even the boring, mundane things of life.

Yesterday, Shelby walked in our kitchen, and noticed a bowl of figs that Larry had picked and put in a bowl. She hadn't seen figs before, and they reminded her of something more common to a three year old. She looked at the bowl of figs, and asked, "Grandma, are those poops in the bowl?" Sincere as she was; I couldn't helping cracking up.

My grand kids teach me something about life every day. My oldest grandson Matt teaches me compassion, and empathy. He is quick to show affection, and is a very intelligent boy. Emily has taught me to try. She is excited to learn and do new things. Nate is a living lesson plan on how to enjoy the great outdoors...specifically DIRT!

Talia has taught me the value in cracking up over nothing! She brings a smile to my by just walking in the room. Cicily is such an example of kindness. She shepherds those younger than her with love and gentleness. Our little Xander has shown all of us the fun and joy in running. Although I cannot run, I love to watch him take off across the room. He finds sheer delight in the freedom to move.

Shelby has taught me about love and devotion. She compels me to be silly, and to play, play, play. And then comes Kylee. What a sweet, gentle spirit she has about her. When I hold her I feel peace and sweetness that is unique to infants. In February I'll become acquainted with our newest grandchild. I can hardly wait to see what special things she or he can teach us.

So why am I writing about grandchildren, birds, cows, and poops...I really don't know. But maybe you can find a message in this tale, that will inspire you to enjoy life even more fully than you do now. There is always something new to learn, and experience. We need to have the faith and wisdom of a child, and learn to appreciate the simple things of life.

Grateful for the Journey

Today I was listening to a Carrie Underwood Song that I have listened to many times before. But today, it just hit me right in the heart. I wish I could remember the title of the song, but basically it talks about how our time here on earth, is just a part of our journey.

As I have sat with my mother endless hours over the last eight weeks; I have come to realize just how important this part of our journey is. I've also decided that we don't partake of this life nearly as much as we should. It seems like we are all caught up in just making it through the week, so we can rush through the weekend, and start all over again on Mondays.

There is, and has to be, more to life than just making it to the finish line. It is more about how we get there...it's about the journey. My brother, Mike, blogged about a run he shared with his youngest son, and how wonderful it was to enjoy that journey with him. Several times I've mentioned how I have these ah ha moments with my grandchildren. Feeding fish, looking in the bushes, marveling at a bird's nest...that's the journey.

Now that my journey is most likely half way done; I find myself wishing that I could have a few do-overs. Not a lot mind you...just a few. At the top of my list would would be to spend more time with my children. At the time you are raising them, it seems so difficult to stay on top of everything. But what is most important isn't the stack of laundry, or a messy room crying for attention; it is the time with your children.

It seems like only yesterday that I had four little ones. Now my baby just turned 24, and I've had to accept that I can no longer claim to be 29! I often wonder where all the time went. So parents, enjoy your children. One day they will be adults, and won't need you quite as much as they use to. They too, become caught up in the wheels of life, and before you know it; they are parents too.

Remember the old expression, "take time to smell the roses." I use to roll my eyes when I heard it. But I have come to realize how true it is. Take time to lay on the lawn at night, and point out the stars. Make time for those walks in the park, baking cookies, serving others. Teach your children a silly song, or a nursery rhyme. Create and take those teachable moments, and make them memorable.

I am so grateful for a mother and father who made time to do things with our family. Some of my fondest memories are of going to the Unitah Mountains to camp and fish. Those trips didn't cost a lot of money, but they created valuable memories. Memories of our journey as a family. I hope and pray that I am helping those I love to enjoy the journey. To look for opportunities to love life; so that when we come to the finish line we will have no regrets.